How to spell Trouble

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Let’s Talk, no. 1; 36″ x 112″; oil & collage on canvas

Lately I’ve been scaring myself when I am painting. This has happened periodically before but this time I don’t want to back away from what is frightening to me. My work has undergone changes, rearrangements, and rerouting continually over the years and especially in the past few months. If I look back to the beginning of the year and try to see a direction, the current situation is near unrecognizable. Which breakthroughs do I trust enough to act on, stay with? What am I trying to learn? What has revolutionized in my life? I really can’t put it into words; maybe that’s why I paint.

The less I try to go back to old patterns, the more sense this situation makes. It doesn’t always mean it gets easier to manage, but it gets more interesting to be a part of and the more I want to continue to explore.

It seems I  need to pay curious attention to what feels hard to pinpoint. I hope to develop a deeper understanding of these areas of life that are insisting themselves into my paintings. Fear is less of an issue, has less power, as I get older because the end is closer. So I feel more willing to take chances, face fear down.

Recently, I visited some people who own a painting I had done several years ago. At the time I did the piece, I felt somewhat unsettled about the work but someone wanted it and to this day they enjoy having it. Having not seen it for quite a while, I saw the painting as closer to what I am doing now. There is a certain energy shift I want to expose and play up. Probably the comment that my paintings are more talkative, is the most accurate statement I can use to explain what’s happening.

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About leyaevelyn

About thirty years ago, I moved from New York City to rural Nova Scotia. For an artist, it is a good place to live. Spacious and quiet. Despite the beautiful scenery and frequently grey skies, my abstract paintings focus on color, its expressive qualities and how it creates form and space.
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